The Judgement Must End!

When you live with a chronic condition, you are forced to forgo privacy. Your health issues are very obvious. Whether it is a diet restriction, a walking-aid, social energy, a handicap-placard, needing assistance at the grocery store, cancelling plans last minute etc. it is obvious to those close to you. Another thing you learn very quickly when suffering from a chronic condition, is that EVERYONE has an opinion. People who originally had just been your friend, suddenly have an enormous amount of unresearched medical knowledge to share. On top of this, people come at you from every direction with a “cure” for your incurable disease. It is really remarkable how many medical experts exist! Lol! In the end though, when my friends give me unsolicited and frustrating advice, I still know they care and just want what’s best for me. I’d rather receive a pointless message informing me of a new health product, magic pill, or inverted yoga position than a message of judgement. What’s worse is when you don’t receive the message at all, and judgement is placed on you behind your back or in snide comments to others. In essence, while comments of “have you tried” and “I have a cure” are not helpful, I’d prefer those over comments filled with disdain and judgement.

So let’s get one thing clear, you don’t have a right to judge.  Period.  You don’t have the right to judge me for my health choices.  You don’t have the right to judge my nutrition or lack thereof.  You simply don’t have the right to judge!  We are suffocating in a severe cultural attitude where people feel they have the right to judge and gossip about someone who fails.  Actually, our entire nation struggles with a cultural attitude of judgement across the board!  That’s a much larger topic for another time.  Back to the idea of judgement in regards to failure or “slipping up.” If someone tells you that they are making certain health choices, and then you see them not following their claimed lifestyle, that doesn’t negate everything they are trying to do.  Likewise, if someone refuses an unhealthy item, you should not think, “Well I saw them eat a brownie yesterday!  So they are just being difficult picking and choosing when they want to be healthy.  Instead think, “Hey!  I know they weren’t following their nutrition plan very closely, good for them for working to achieve their goals today!” We need to foster an environment of support, especially in regards to people’s health decisions. 

An individual’s health is lifelong and extremely personal.  If you see me eat a brownie after I said I wasn’t going to consume sugar, it could be because I am so drained from constantly scrutinizing every aspect of my life... I just needed to feel normal and have a brownie.  (Trust me, if this is the case... I will suffer for it later!  I don’t need your added judgement.) Another possibility is that the “brownie” is actually a fake healthy zucchini brownie and I’m merely pretending to enjoy it.  Regardless of the situation, don’t judge!  If we work together, one person, one relationship, one family at a time, then I truly believe that we can change our culture from one of judgement and gossip to one of support and acceptance.